Tag Archives: misery

"Absolut coffee" snapshot @ brunch, 05.30.10 @ Uptown Lounge (1576 3rd Ave. b/t 88th and 89th St., NYC). Hipstamatic iPhone print by Mystie Chamberlin (Lens: Kaimal Mark II Film: Blanko),

Over the past four and a half years, I have accepted that my body thrives on stress.  It’s as though my body realizes I will have an extended weekend away from traditional responsibility and decides that this an acceptable time to become sick.  Since paid time off is scarce, I find this physical decision thoroughly unagreeable.  Although my diet consists mainly of stress and caffeine, I’ve managed to find a few ways to regulate (well, regulate the stress anyway…I’ll work on the coffee next year).

Writing in my journal and composing songs are my two favorite ways to relax.  I appreciate my writing workshops and my writing peers.  I eagerly anticipate our sporadic assemblages, fueled with words and wine, when and where we are all driven by the desire of wondering if we have anything worthwhile or interesting to impart.  Once a story or song is transcribed from my mind to the paper or the computer (or communicator, ie. phone), I obsess over the editing process.  I cherish when a word I initially chose for simplicity’s sake is replaced by something suitably descriptive.  I celebrate each word and it’s sound.

Together with composing song lyrics, I unwind by playing guitar (pun intended).  Twisting the chrome tuning keys and pressing down on the bronze strings is more cathartic than punching holes in my head.  The misery of sometimes not having the fine motor muscle memory needed in order to craft what I auralize frustratingly, yet determinately, drives me to excel.
I still get goose bumps when I strike a string and from the sound that emanates, even when it is discordant (sometimes, especially when it is discordant).  I even enjoy practicing scales; challenging my fingers to move faster or slower is satisfying.  Some people might say I’m easily amused. Continue reading →